The hottest love has the coldest end
- Socrates
Well, this is it.
My relationship has ended, and I think I'm going to be okay and move on eventually. Time will tell whether there's anyone to be moving on towards, but that's not the most important part. The important thing, as
Rincewind will tell You, is to run away
from whatever is trying to hurt You. The
to part will eventually sort itself out.
I'm sure You all know that feeling, when You have to get rid of Your ex's toothbrush, for example. It happens to all of us, sooner or later, because that's how life works, but there will always be this little drop of regret that comes from losing something. Especially if it's not the first time this happens to You.
Sorting out all the stuff that needed to be taken care of, I found the love charm I made when we were starting out, so to speak. This is a strange thing to say two weeks after a breakup, but I think it was a really good one. I have no idea what happened so suddenly that made him literally flee, and I don't think I shall ever know. But I know that, as long as it lasted, it was good, and maybe in time I will be able to filter out the bad memories and stick to that.
Either way, now that the feeling is gone, the spell should be extinguished and the charm destroyed, if only to make letting go easier. There's a lot of love spells around the web, but not much on extinguishing them, which I find strange. But maybe that's because people generally prefer to focus on positive aspects. Beginnings, not ends.
As with most spells, their ingredients and form are up to You. Choose whatever You feel is right, whatever enables You to connect to Your goal. The most important thing is how You do it: with dignity and respect.
-
My heart is not in there, but it's a pretty good metaphor.
So, to focus on the end, I used a black tablecloth and three black candles. An odd number was an obvious necessity on this occasion, but I didn't want to use one candle, because even though I am single now, I am definitely not alone. The charm was made of wood so burning seemed the best way to destroy it. I built a small pyre in my burning dish and added a few drops of spirit, to symbolize complete cleansing and facilitate the burning.
I also made a small, black pouch. When the charm burned, I scooped up the ashes into the pouch, added a small stone and tied it with a black string. The pouch I then threw into a pond nearby*.
A charm created with care and feeling should definitely not be thrown into the bin together with the toothbrush, and rituals such as this, modest as though they might be, can really help to relieve Your feelings. However, You should always remember that the goal is to help Yourself to move on, not to harm the other person. Giving into aggression and anger, cutting Your ex out of Your pictures or mutilating their portrait is not the way to deal with pain. Even if it seems like a good idea, once You give in to violence it takes root. So does sadness, of course, but it's much easier to weed.
* A few practical tips: if You're going to perform a ritual burning, always keep a jug of water at hand, just in case. It's one thing to feel the cleansing power of fire through observation and another through experience. Also, remember that the burning dish itself will heat up. Place it wisely so that it won't be a danger - I use a ceramic bowl on a steel trivet, for that extra kitchen flavor.
And if You want to put something in a pouch and throw into a pond, or bury it, always make sure there are no dangerous objects there (sharp things, toxic materials), and that it's all biodegradable. Including the pouch fabric and string.
